Keeping It Real

Today on a friend's Facebook feed I came across a great blog post titled "There is no I in team". It was written by a Mom blogger who is also a contributer to a new book, I Just Want to Pee Alone, that details the often-exhausting-but-always-exciting-challenges of being a mother.

In her post, she is responding to criticism by other women that the book is just a bunch of "complaining" about children. The author eloquently goes on to defend herself by sharing a vulnerable time in her life when she had an unhealthy fear of not appreciating her children enough, and how that fear impacted her.

To this post I simply say, Brava.

Her words hit home for me and I share her offense at the unfair reaction she's receiving for her work. On a much smaller level, I can relate. Someone once suggested that I "complain" quite a bit about being a Mom on my own blog.

I was dumbfounded. And hurt. And offended. And worried they might be right and, if so, what kind of horrible Mom that now made me.

But I've never considered what I write to be complaining. I've always just thought I was keeping it real. Telling it like it is. Showing my vulnerable side.

When I wrote about my heartache with bottle feeding, I wasn't trying to put anyone down. When I wrote about my struggles with the newborn phase and baby blues, I wasn't trying to be ungrateful or unloving. When I shared my frustration with my challenges in breastfeeding, I wasn't begrudging my son or the work it takes to care for him. And when I posted my advice for new Moms, I wasn't trying to paint a yucky, who-would-ever-want-do-this picture of my life.

On the contrary, I was trying to encourage other Moms. You see, I don't think there is a mom alive who hasn't had a rough day, a rough week, or heck - a rough year. And when you're in the middle of that valley, it can feel very, very lonely. Because it's not something everyone talks about. It's like we've all taken some Mom Vow of Silence that prevents us from ever saying anything slightly negative (read: realistic) about our treasured and privileged role.

Why?

Whoever decided that to admit things aren't always rosy makes you a bad Mom? Whoever said that to show weakness or vulnerability makes you a failure? And whoever decreed that a mother can never fail? That's just not reality. And I'm not into fake plastic trees (unless they're on my iPod, shout out to my 90's music fans!)

Being a Mom is the most worthwhile, amazing, wonderful, blessed, and lovely thing I've ever done. But it's also really, really hard. And really, really exhausting. And sometimes really, really overwhelming. Admitting that doesn't mean I'm complaining. It means I'm being honest.

And I'd like to think that my honesty has helped a few Moms when they're in the midst of the inevitable lows that Mommyhood can bring...until they get to the next high.

Because it's always just around the corner.