This Too Shall Pass...

No one ever said motherhood was all lollipops and giggles. And I didn't expect it to be. There are ups and downs, twists and turns, times that are trying and times that you're flying. Lately, we're in one of those "trying" phases.

Trying not to lose my mind.

Trying not to lose patience or my temper.

Trying not to collapse from lack of sleep.

Trying not to lose the small bit of dignity that's still possible when you're wearing mismatched socks, a drool-stained sweatshirt, and eating a cold leftover grilled cheese from the night before for breakfast...again.

Yes, things are a bit difficult right now. MJ is bursting into toddlerhood at lightening speed and boy is it exhausting! He's got nonstop energy and he's into everything and is not interested in hearing the word "no". He's testing every limit and boundary there is and even ones that don't exist.

When he's not bustling about, he's learning. He's figuring out new things day and night - especially at night. Right before MJ learns something new he stops sleeping. It's like he does his best thinking in the crib, particularly at 4 am. The bigger the "thing" that he's learning, the more disrupted his sleep becomes. He did it before he rolled over, before he sat up, before he crawled, and before he learned how to pass an object from one hand to the other or stack two things on top of each other. And judging by how poorly he's slept over the past two weeks, he's on his way to learning something pretty darn big. Like calculus.

And, to top it off, MJ is sick. He's got his first real, horrible cold. They say the average baby gets 6-10 colds and/or viruses in the first year of life. Well, MJ is either way above or way below average, depending on how you look at it. Because other than a few sniffles and a minor cough during his six week day care stint, MJ has had no real illnesses. Perhaps he was just saving it all up for a big show - like an I-can't-breathe, can't-stop-crying, can't-stop-sneezing, may-never-sleep again type of show.

Oh, and did I mention that MJ got his one-year vaccinations the other day? That was awesome. In addition to sniffles, a stuffy nose, and chapped cheeks and lips (from all the drool and snot), he's got sore little legs, a fever, and is generally a grump. Oh and that death cold? I've got it, too.

Yep, it's one big ball of fun in the Wolter home.

At times like this, the only thing that keeps me sane is remembering that this is just a phase. This too shall pass. I repeat that handy little phrase to myself over and over and over again.

At 3 am, when I'm up again rocking MJ so he can catch a few winks of shut eye on my shoulder because he's too stuffed up to sleep lying down. This too shall pass.

At 3pm, when I'm driving around the only freeway loop that I've found requires absolutely no stopping for a full 1 hour (Hwy 80 west to Hwy 80 east and back again for those that are interested) so MJ will get a little bit of a nap. This too shall pass.

When MJ finally stops an all afternoon cryfest, just to sneeze all over my face. This too shall pass.

When there's so much moisture all over my shoulder, sleeve, and cheek from being a human nap nest, that I'm not sure where the snot ends and the drool begins. This too shall pass.

When I'm wiping up the floor for the third time that day after another failed meal attempt. This too shall pass.

It's a simple phrase, but it's powerful. No matter how tough, how tiring, how trying, I know this crap won't last forever. It gives me perspective when I have precious little and gives me hope when things are pretty dim. I guess you could say it's my secret Mommy weapon of sorts.

But what I love most about that phrase is the flip side of it. Because, while it reminds me that the bad times will soon move on, it also helps me to remember that all the good times that go along with them will too.

The snotty nose and the drooling, teething mouth will eventually fade away. But so will those adorable chubby cheeks that I love so much.

His hands won't always reach out to grab that very thing that I've already told him not to touch 500 times today. But then again, those fat little fingers won't always want to reach out and grab my face either.

I won't have to rock him at 4 am forever. Someday he'll be big enough to nurse his own colds, but he'll also be too big to rock with me at all, too big to fit in my lap, too grown up for bedtime cuddles and nighttime snuggles.

Some morning in the future, he won't wake me up at 6 am talking chattering gibberish to himself in the crib. But someday in the future, there won't be any more baby talk at all.

The giggles, the gurgles, the grins, the tiny toes, the snotty button nose, the toddling little legs and the pinchable, padded diaper butt - these all shall pass. Because when it comes to babies, every not-so-great phase is accompanied by an infinite number of amazing, thrilling, and magical ones. And they all pass by far too soon.

This phase of motherhood will pass. And no matter how exhausted and stretched I am, I know I will miss it...Even the snot.