Bye Bye Diapers!

We did it! We ditched diapers!

Yup, over Memorial Day we potty trained MJ. Since then he's had only a handful of accidents. In fact, I'm pinching myself at how easy it was. But considering all of the other challenges we had with sleeping, eating, etc., I guess it was about time that something went my way - right?

If you're wondering what method we used, we used the infamous 3 Day Potty Training method by Lora Jensen, the self proclaimed "Potty Training Queen". Potty training in three days, you say? Yeah right!

Well, it worked. Within three days MJ was in underwear, could use the toilet by himself, and went accident free all day (even for outings!). While I loved this training method, I have to be honest - I'm pretty sure MJ would have trained no matter how we did it.

He was ready. He'd been using the toilet before bath for months and had started to ask me to use it at random times throughout the day. He had started to protest diapers and was completely obsessed with flushing the toilet, tearing toilet paper, and pulling his pants down and up.

Even though I would have been fine keeping him in diapers for many more months (I'm lazy, what can I say?), I was wary of "missing the window". I didn't want to lose out on the opportunity to put MJ's curiosity and willingness to learn to good use. I'd heard from too many other Moms that once that window closes, it can be pretty dang hard to pry it back open...and I didn't want to be stuck with a 4 year old in diapers.

So, we downloaded the book, bought some underpants, and got ready to go!

To really understand the method, you should buy the ebook, the price of which also includes personal mentoring by Lora herself if needed. But I'll summarize what I like best about the method:

• No diapers - you ditch the diapers the first day. No pullups, no training pants, no "potty time" and then back to diapers. This rip-the-bandaid-off method seemed like a good fit for MJ's personality. He enjoyed making a big deal of throwing away our diapers (they went into garage for donating) and getting out all the Big Boy pants that he'd help me launder the day before.

• No power struggles - This method puts the power in the child's hands, an excellent fit for my strong willed little guy. You don't take the child to the toilet on a timer, you don't force him to go, and you don't ask him if he needs to go. You simply tell them, "When you need to go pee pee - tell Mommy" and repeat this phrase like 1 million times a day. It's a subtle way of reminding them to listen to their body and encourages them to try, but it doesn't put the parent on potty watch and it doesn't create dramatic standoffs with a little one who isn't interested in trying.

• Accidents are expected - In Lora's method, accidents are how you train. You actually want them to happen (within reason). An accident is an opportunity to point out to the child the sensation and help them learn to associate that with the toilet. When you see an accident starting to happen, you rush the child to the toilet and have them finish there. The more accidents they have, the more they learn.

• It's positive - I can't imagine punitive potty training, but Lora's method is especially positive. You make a BIG deal out of any success - even the tiniest drop making it into the toilet. You don't stress over accidents. You don't have to drag your child to the bathroom every 15 minutes and make a fuss. You don't have to punish them for not going and having an accident. In fact, there were no tears, no tantrums, and almost no discipline issues at all the whole time....probably because of the next reason...

• Lots of quality time - In order for this method to work, you have to spend literally every waking second with your child for three solid days. No time on Facebook, no running errands, no walking out of the room. Solid, quality, one-on-one time with your child is absolutely necessary. Why? Because you have to watch them like a hawk. You need to see an accident coming before it happens, and you can't do that if you don't have your eyes on them and your body within arms length. MJ LOVED this part. He reveled in my complete attention. With all my focus on him, there was little need or reason for him to act out or little opportunity for him to get into trouble.

I'll be honest - I didn't follow Lora's method exactly. For example, she recommends ditching diapers for both naps and nighttime and insists it can be done even if your child hasn't been waking up dry. Her method to accomplish this sounds reasonable enough, but involves waking the child one hour after bedtime and one hour before wakeup to use the toilet. 

Sorry, but that sounds like a fresh slice of hell. We have enough waking up issues in our house to invite yet another reason for MJ to protest going to bed, wake early, or call out in the middle of the night. Diapers (AKA "sleepy pants") it is. We just purchased night time Pull Up pants and gave them a new name. MJ had never worn them before, so it worked. Plus, they had cars on them. It was a win-win.

I also broke the rule about no training pants. I purchased a few pairs and he wears them at Sunday school or preschool. They won't contain a complete accident, but they do hold little messes and give me an extra boost of confidence when he's out of my care. 

And lastly, after the 3 days of child-led peeing, I instituted what I like to call "proactive pees". See, MJ knows when he has to go - but he's often too busy to do it. Playing with trains, crashing cars, or digging in the sandbox are far too entertaining to be bothered with bathroom breaks. So while I mostly let MJ dictate when it's time to go (with gentle reminders of "tell Mommy if you need to go" here and there), I like to establish regular times that we go: before and after nap, before a meal, before we jump on Mommy's bed, and before we go outside. These rules alone have probably saved us countless accidents.